The Feedback Tree: Why Great Feedback Grows Over Time

Feedback - the act of telling someone how their attitude/behavior/emotion is landing on you - is a gift when done well and a hazard when done poorly.

Delivering feedback WELL takes a few seeds from both sides: trust, openness, attention, and a willingness to change one's mind, among others.

Feedback must be built and navigated as a practice, and through this practice, seeds grow into sprouts, branches, and, eventually, strong trees with deep roots.

I'll explain:

When you work with others, you test out what you can share, what they are open to, and what seems off-limits - they do the same.

As time goes on, if you have been successful in past attempts to share feedback, you go a bit further, share a bit more, and see how things land.

Great relationships can be forged through iterative feedback founded on deeper and deeper shared insights.

Thus, delivering feedback WELL creates a healthy practice and a foundation for learning, reflection, growth, and shared success.

Skipping these steps and jumping to give powerful feedback can backfire because 1) you have not developed an understanding of how someone best receives feedback, 2) you may not have enough data, and 3) you have not built any of the foundations for them to find you credible.

If you have not developed a practice of feedback with someone - even if you're feedback is helpful/correct/etc. - they may just dismiss what you share, or worse feel defensive and reject any future attempts of feedback sharing.

Feedback is not a one-time thing - it's a journey between two people that grows from small to very powerful.